Oh, Just Film in New York, Would You?

Ah, Fall TV Season.  'Tis one of the best seasons of the year, up there with Baseball Season, Rabbit Season (Duck Season!) and, my personal favorite, Margarita Season.  Fall TV Season is always a crap shoot; what new pilots will be canceled right after you fall in love with them (R.I.P. Lone Star)?  What horrible pilots will inexplicably find an audience and continue on ad infinitum (Rules of Engagement, airing this year on Saturday night)?  What new city can CBS put a carbon copy crime drama in (Tulsa)?  But the most burning question I have every year is what fresh, hellish portrayal of my beloved New York City is going to be forced upon me by television producers.  Dear Readers, I give you: 2 Broke Girls.

Let me say upfront that I actually enjoyed the pilot of 2 Broke Girls (the second episode not so much).  It was reasonably funny and, given that it was on CBS, pretty risque.  That being said let's go over how the sitcom, which takes place in Brooklyn, proceeded to get everything completely wrong about it's setting.

1) The "New York Subway"- The generic set that Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) meet up on during the morning commute was incorrect in just about every way possible.  First of all, I know it's fun to think of New York as a disgustingly dirty pit, but that fact of the matter is that our metro system is no longer covered in graffiti.  The set looked like it was from Coming to America...I half-expected Eddie Murphy to pop out and started talking about his royal penis.  Secondly, if Max and Caroline are riding the subway during rush hour there would be a crush of people on that train so strong that they would be unable to move.  Thirdly, if Caroline, as implied by the script, slept the night on the subway train there is no possible way she wouldn't have been woken up by someone sitting so close to her that her personal space bubble would have been forever violated. 

2) The "New York Apartment"- The series is called 2 Broke Girls.  At the start of the series, one of the titular Broke Girls lives in an apartment with her slacker boyfriend who does not appear to contribute to the rent.  Said apartment that the girl (who you must remember, is broke!) is paying for all by her lonesome is a one-bedroom, with a separate living room and kitchen and...drum roll please...a backyard.  Yeah, not so much.  Not unless "broke" is code for "independently wealthy with a trust fund."

3) The "New York Smell"- I know New York smells.  Among the things it smells like are street meat, roasted peanuts, the homeless, garbage, fresh coffee, fresh bagels, fresh danishes and urine.  It does not, I repeat does not, smell like horse crap.  The only time New York smells like horse poo is when you are walking directly behind a mounted cop.  In any case, the second episode of the show repeatedly posits that Caroline's horse, which they're keeping in the backyard...oh, wait, did I forget to mention that the backyard is big enough to hold a horse?  Guess what!  The backyard is big enough to hold a goddamn horse.  And naturally, the horse is leaving little gifts all over the luxurious outdoor space, which the characters have decided smells like Brooklyn.  It.  Does.  Not.

Look, I get that this kind of stuff bothers essentially nobody.  But it makes me nuts, and it's my blog so I can bitch about whatever I want.

Oh, and while we're on the subject, Prime Suspect?  Yeah, I'm looking at you, Annual-Unnecessary-Adaptation-of-a-Far-Better-British-Original.  20th Street and 4th Avenue doesn't exist.  4th has already become Park that far north.  You're welcome.