Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Survived Hurricane Irene, and All I Got Was Scurvy, Rickets and Generalized Malnutrition

Before anyone panics, let me assure you that I have not contracted any diseases that were stomped out a few hundred years ago.  But come on, that's pretty damn good title.  Hyperbole is the soul of blogging.  Or at least of this blog's title.

In any case, I'm sure that everyone knows at this point that Hurricane Irene was actually Tropical Storm Irene in NYC and it was basically a non-event for us.  A lot of anticipation for a really un-momentous climax. Like virgins having sex.  I realize that it was awful in other places, and my sympathies to those people who were negatively affected. Is that enough?  Have I acknowledged others sufficiently that I can go back to talking about myself now?  Fantastic.

As I have told many stories on this blog about my current workplace, I'm sure I don't have to refresh loyal reader's memories that I work in a hotel in Manhattan that is run by what essentially amounts to an arrogant, moronic garden gnome and a cheap, evil ogre.  In response to the forecast for the weekend, Gnome and Ogre decided that employees would have to stay over in the hotel in order to keep the place running; mind you, Gnome and Ogre were running back to their homes to stay with their families and take care of them.  It was the little peasants that would be required to stay at work the whole time.  Let me say now that I don't really have a problem with Gnome and Ogre staying at home; their presence could only have gummed up the works further, as neither one of them has managed to make an effective decision in their entire tenure.  Getting one of them to do something useful is like trying to flush a floater: a waste of time and resources.

As I'm sure you can tell, I was one of the employees who stayed at the hotel.  I actually didn't have a huge problem with this, as my boyfriend was stranded in LA due to flight cancellations and I obviously wasn't going to be able to do much with a hurricane raging through Brooklyn.  However, the crux of the problem arose when I brought up the idea of the hotel providing a per diem for the affected employees.  After all, since I was going to be away from my home during this time and would be unable to get food in the area, I thought it was reasonable that the hotel provide some sustenance for it's 30 workers that would be keeping the business up and running during a natural disaster.  The hotel could either give everybody a small per diem and we could go get food to bring along, or they could provide food for us. 

Well, Gnome and Ogre were having none of the per diem idea.  GIVING money to WORKERS??  That's just insane!  The hotel, of course, would provide food as it always does.  Luckily, I was aware of the worth of a promise from the establishment and wound up packing food for two days and a wine supply.  Let's jump ahead to 3 o'clock on Saturday.  At this point, all stores in the area have closed, as the MTA shut down operations at noon.  Most employees who are on the evening shift have arrived early, as the only way into work was the train and bus system.  Cut to the hotel cafeteria, which would not be receiving any further shipments as, again, there was an act of God occurring outside.  The hotel has thoughtfully provided the following for it's 30 employees for 4-6 meals each.

-Two (2) Ten Ounce Campbell's New England Clam Chowders
-Three (3) Maruchan Instant Ramen (Beef Flavor)
-Six (6) Two and a Half Ounce Velveeta Mac & Cheese
-Six (6) Hot Dog Buns
-The Bottom of a Crate of Tootsie Rolls
-One (1) Italian panini
-One (1) crate of apples (containing approximately 60 units of fruit)

I realize I should no longer be surprised by this place demonstrating a complete dearth of managerial skills.  Yet, somehow, hope springs eternal.  I think to myself "Self...I know that these people are the dregs of humanity and the fact that they make exponentially more than you is unfair in the extreme given their incompetence, maliciousness and generalized idiocy.  But Self, even THEY have to eat!  Even THEY understand that you can't have employees at work for 36-48 hours and not provide food!"

Surprise!  They don't understand this!  As I said, I had food with me (I didn't expect them to provide GOOD food) and I was fine, but I hope everyone else working there had the same instincts.  I wrote an angry letter to the HR Department, the final paragraph of which I will reproduce for you below:

How [the food provided] is expected to keep a 35 person staff fed and healthy for at least another 36 hours is a mystery to me.  I can only hope that most people had the foresight to pack food from home.  However, I cannot help but feel as if this blatant disregard for a hard-working staff's time and health is anything but indicative of either a deep ignorance of the situation or a complete lack of caring.  As I know the problem was brought up to the Executive Committee on Friday, with plenty of time to implement a course of action to avoid such negligence, I don't see how anyone could reasonably claim ignorance.  Whatever the reason, the result is unacceptable and I, for one, feel as if the powers that be at this hotel owe their employees compensation and a heartfelt apology.
Bitch probably needed a dictionary to read that one.

No response as of yet!  Let's see how long it  takes before they acknowledge anything happened at all...I'm guessing I never hear a peep.

No comments: