Friday, December 31, 2010

Rethink Possible

I'm having to rethink possible right now. Is it possible that AT&T actually has the gall to use this as their slogan? Is it possible that I'm paying premium rates for a phone that only allows me to actually place or receive phone calls and/or texts about 70% of the time? Is it possible for me to rip down every single poster I see with this ad campaign on it and never get caught?

Probably not on that last one, but seriously, I resisted getting a smart phone for years. First of all I didn't want to be THAT available. After all, years of cultivating a man of mystery persona would all go to waste if I suddenly could get three different forms of contact from a device that fits in my pocket. Outside of that, I'm also...oh, how to put Not only am I cheap, I'm poor and cheap. This is a toxic combination when it comes to buying things that aren't necessities. And by necessities, I of course refer to food, clothing and wine. As such, years passed before I got my first cell phone. When I got a cell phone, I needed to be shamed into using text messaging. And finally, once I was a rabid texter, it took years before I cracked and got an iPhone. And by "cracked and got an iPhone," I of course mean got someone to buy me one for my birthday.

In any case, I may have resisted at first, but now I have a freaking iPhone and the fucker doesn't work. Really Apple? Really AT&T? Suck it. Why does it take 5 minutes for my e-mail to "download from the server?" When playing Words with Friends, why does the internet connection constantly time out? When I sit at work in midtown, how is it possible that my phone shows five bars of service and yet does nothing that I pay for it to do? The entire company is in need of cock-punch.

I'm gonna Rethink Possible your ass. And I don't care that that doesn't make sense.

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